16 Mayıs 2023

First Year Frustrations


This happened about ten years ago, when I was in my first year of university. I was moving away from home for the first time and going to a big school across the country, where I knew no one. I was planning to major in experiential education, something which wasn’t offered at home, and following my dreams meant leaving home. Back then, I was a nerdy girl just growing into self-confidence after my unpopular high school days. The best way to describe me would be “unremarkable”, or so I thought back then. I had the usual teenage girl interests and shopped at the same stores as everyone else. I had a face and body that were average — I was never the prettiest girl in school, but I was also never really unattractive either. I had shoulder-length brown hair I kept in a ponytail, glasses, a medium build with average height and weight and boobs and curves. My eventual husband later told me I could be the poster child for “the girl next door”, though that was never how I thought of myself.

When I first was heading off to school, people used to ask me if I was scared, nervous, excited, whatever — and I always said I was excited and wasn’t nervous at all. That wasn’t true. In truth I was nervous, but not for the usual reasons. I had always been a good student, so the classes didn’t scare me. I always made friends easily, so that didn’t scare me either. What scared me was that I didn’t know how I would be able to masturbate when I shared a room with a roommate.

Ever since my first period around age 12 I had masturbated almost every single night before falling asleep (the odd night when I was too tired or something I might not), and it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t sleep without doing it. It was my nightly routine: I would climb into bed, my mind would start to wander, and within five minutes I would be tingly and wet and start touching myself. I had never had a boyfriend at the time, and I also was never very adventurous. The most random place I had ever masturbated was in the shower, so I wasn’t planning to do anything weird. I was just hoping that things would just somehow work themselves out and I would have some privacy in my room.

When I arrived in the dorm for the first time, I surveyed the room. It was pretty much what I expected — two small beds only about eight feet apart in one room, with two desks as well. I met my roommate as well, but I wasn’t too happy about the person the school had assigned me. The girl, Mei-Ling, was a Japanese exchange student doing a year abroad, and she spoke virtually no English. So much for becoming fast friends. She seemed nice enough, was tall for an Asian girl and incredibly thin, though not too much so, and was reasonably good-looking, but it was almost impossible to talk to her, and she didn’t seem to have much interest in getting to know me anyway, so we pretty much ignored each other from day 1.

I did all the things that you’d expect at first year orientation at a university — got drunk a few times, met some new people, went to classes — but Mei-Ling did none of that. I would soon discover she had a pattern. She never went to class. I got the impression she was homesick, since she would sleep during the day and stay awake all night lying in bed, talking with friends back in Japan on her laptop.

During the first week, things pretty much took care of themselves — I was too tired most nights to masturbate and just fell asleep; I didn’t have the privacy anyway. But as things settled into a routine, it became torture. With Mei-Ling wide awake while I was sleeping, it meant I didn’t have any chances to touch myself before bed like normal, and since she never went to class, I didn’t have any alone time in the dorm room either. I also wasn’t comfortable doing it while she slept because it was still broad daylight, and she was Bahçelievler escort bayan a light enough sleeper that I frequently woke her up accidentally in spite of trying to be quiet around the room. Every night was the same — I went to bed around midnight, got unbelievably horny, and had to try to ignore it and fall asleep. Most nights I tossed and turned for 1-3 hours before finally sleeping, and the delicious tingling between my legs was nearly impossible to ignore. On occasion I would give in and gently rub myself a little bit while moving as little as possible, but I couldn’t orgasm without more direct pressure and it only served to make me more frustrated.

I checked out my other options, but they were limited. The dorm bathrooms were gross, and had very little privacy, so they were out. The showers were even worse; they had more privacy, but because the dorm was old and had originally been male-only back in the day, there was only one coed shower room per floor. The stalls were individually enclosed and there were never any worries about voyeurs or anything because the stalls were only open a crack at the top and bottom to let the steam escape, but I still was not willing to masturbate in a room where a guy could walk in at any moment and hear me.

And so the first month at university passed. For some reason I still remember that I only managed to masturbate three times in the entire month. Twice I did it in the room on the rare occasions that Mei-Ling left the room and I knew she wouldn’t be back right away, and both times were barely pleasurable — I essentially ripped my bottoms off as soon as the door closed behind her and attacked my clit. I usually like to take my time and touch my breasts, my inner thighs, rub slowly and carefully and bring myself to the brink a lot before finally allowing myself to orgasm, but these times I was way too horny to wait. Both times probably lasted less than five minutes total, and were more about relief than pleasure. The third time I masturbated in a study carrel in a quiet corner of the university library. For some reason I was torturing myself by checking out the library’s collection of sex books, and I found a book of men’s sexual fantasies by Nancy Friday. Reading all those stories about men masturbating and thinking about sex turned me on way too much to think clearly, and I wound up rubbing myself through my jeans under the desk until I orgasmed. I was ashamed afterwards at not being able to control myself and doing something completely out of character for me, but at the same time I had a bit of precious relief for another couple days.

My first year of university was turning into a nightmare. My hyperactive sex drive was ruining my concentration and studies, and my grades were way down from what I was used to. I couldn’t concentrate in class or while I was doing homework, since I was always thinking about sex, and I had to start wearing panty-liners so I wouldn’t soak through my underwear and have to be cold, wet and uncomfortable all day long. Anything could set me off – having guys brush against my nipples in crowded hallways, hearing girls talking about their boyfriends in the ladies room, brushing the seam of my jeans against my clit while sitting down, accidentally staring at boys’ crotches on the bus. I was wandering around in a horny daze, and I had no possible relief.


One night in early October I somehow managed to fall asleep again without orgasming. Usually I’m a heavy sleeper and I only rarely don’t manage to sleep through the night, but for some reason on this night I woke up around 3 AM. Once I got my bearings I heard a sound coming from Mei-Ling’s bed — nothing unusual, since she was usually typing on her laptop all night long — but in this case I heard Escort Bahçeşehir an unmistakable repetitive squishy sound I knew all too well. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I looked over and saw that Mei-Ling was lying in bed under the covers with her legs spread and knees in the air, making a tent shape. Her face was barely visible in the soft light, but it was contorted in pleasure and there was obvious repetitive movement under the covers. She was masturbating!

I’ve never been attracted to girls, but in my easily excitable state I was instantly wet between the legs. My vagina pulsed angrily with long-unsatisfied lust. I knew I had to masturbate, but at the same time I didn’t want to alert Mei-Ling that I was awake, or make things weird between us. Plus, watching her was turning me on, and I didn’t want to surprise her and have the show end! I decided to rub really slowly and carefully and I eased my right hand down between my legs.

I was already soaked. I collected some wetness and started circling my clit really slowly and gently with my right middle finger, feeling it swell to my touch. The teasing touches worked too well though; even though I was going slowly, my orgasm snuck up on me in the fastest time I had ever orgasmed before — it was less than a minute. Because I wasn’t expecting it, I let out a loud unstifled moan when I came, my legs buckled together and my whole body shook. It wasn’t really relief, since it was a short one and I was still really horny afterwards and knew I was going to have to keep going, but when it finished coming, I opened my eyes to find Mei-Ling sitting up in bed, with the sheet pulled up around her neck to cover herself up, and staring at me.

I had never been caught masturbating before, but I was only a little bit embarrassed because I knew that she had just been doing the same thing. As I sat up myself, I realized that her clothes were piled up on the floor beside her bed. She was obviously naked under the sheet. (I had just put a hand down my pyjama bottoms and so I was still decent.) Because we still hadn’t really learned to communicate, I had no idea what to do, so we just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. My heart was in my throat and my clit was still pulsating with anticipation. Finally, she made a move — she turned on her bedside lamp and lowered the sheet, exposing her small breasts to me. In the soft light I could see her face and chest flushed red with the female “sex flush” (I get it really bad too), and her tiny dark nipples were erect and pointy. She was looking at me expectantly, hesitantly, and the look on her face let me know she was extremely aroused. I knew it was my turn to make a move, and while I still had mixed feelings about the idea of doing anything sexual with another girl, I was far, far too horny to care. I carefully unbuttoned my PJ top and exposed my own medium-sized breasts to her. I looked down at myself and realized I was in the same flushed state, and my own nipples were erect as well.

We still hadn’t spoken a word to each other, but as I watched, Mei-Ling moved her right hand under her covers and started moving it slowly and repetitively while staring at my boobs. Oh my God… I decided to make the next move, and so I threw my covers down to the end of the bed and peeled off my PJ bottoms and panties and leaned back against the wall with my legs opened, exposing myself to her, but not touching yet. I was still drenched. Her eyes immediately started staring between my legs. As I watched her she moved her own sheets away, exposing two fingers working slowly in circles on her clit. She had a full bush of pubic hair compared with my neat trim, and I could see it matted and wet in places.

The sexual tension in the room was unbearable. We Bakırköy escort both abandoned all caution and started masturbating while staring at each other. She lay back against the wall, and I watched and noticed her technique was slightly different from mine (I had never seen anyone else masturbate before so I had no way to compare). She used her middle and ring fingers to rub circles and up and down on her clit, while I used three fingers in circles on mine, with my middle finger right on my hood. I finally was able to have the masturbation session I had been craving for over a month, going to town on myself, touching my breasts, tweaking and licking my nipples, pressuring inside on my G-spot, and rubbing my clit as it throbbed and cried for more, more, more. I lost count of how many orgasms I had (I usually have 2-3 in a session but this time was probably over 10 since I was so aroused) while Mei-Ling obviously came hard at least twice, moaning loudly and muttering breathlessly in Japanese as her body convulsed and shook.

When it was finally over we still didn’t really talk, we just put pj’s back on and I went to sleep as she pulled her laptop back out. In the morning when I got up for class she was asleep, and I worried all day long about whether or not things would be weird between us for the rest of the school year. When I got back to the room around 4 o’clock, she was awake and waiting for me. Her English still wasn’t great, but with a lot of gestures and some use of her Japanese-English dictionary, we were able to really communicate for the first time.

She was from Sendai, the middle child and only daughter of a wealthy industrialist and a homemaker, and was on an exchange at her powerful father’s insistence. She didn’t want to be in North America, didn’t even actually want to be in college, but was doing it so as not to dishonor her family. She knew she was going to fail her courses, but was OK with that since she had fought so long and hard with her father over even coming on the exchange in the first place. I was also able to discover that she was incredibly homesick and didn’t know how she was going to survive a year over here without really speaking the language, and she had a boyfriend and a lot of friends back home that she missed a lot.

We also discovered that we both had high sex drives and masturbated a fair bit, and that she had been doing it at night while I was asleep since we moved in together. Instant Messaging was a new thing back then, and she was spending a lot of time talking and occasionally having cybersex with her boyfriend back home at night to stay close.

I told her about my own background and my sexual needs; that I was straight, but I was OK with what had happened, and I hoped that things wouldn’t be weird between us. She said she was straight as well but had really enjoyed the last night’s fun. I had too. We left it at that we didn’t want anything sexual to happen between us, but we both had our sexual needs, and we were free to take care of them in each other’s presence whenever they arose.

We lived together until April and never really became close friends, but we were at least cordial after that. I went back to masturbating almost every night before bed, and sometimes Mei-Ling would join in, sometimes she’d watch me, and sometimes she would ignore me completely. I probably caught her a dozen times or more over the next several months as well, and it was the same story. Sometimes I would join in, sometimes I would watch, sometimes I would roll over and go back to sleep.

As a result of my needs being met, my grades went back up and I wound up finishing the year well, and eventually earning my degree. Mei-Ling went back to Japan and we never kept in touch. I never heard from her again. I’m now married and have children and a good job in my field, and I never have told anyone about my first year escapades, not even my husband. But I still need to orgasm every night before bed, and the odd times that my hubby’s not home to help get me off, I still relive my experiences with my Japanese roommate as I rub myself and wonder if she ever does the same.

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