Her hands were trembling. The kind of trembling that no one notices, but she felt like there were earthquakes in the tips of her fingers. She turned up the music, and tried to tap out her nerves on the steering wheel, but she wasn’t even listening to the lyrics.
“What the fuck am I doing?” she asked to the empty car. The only reply was DJ Khaled yelling his name and her heartbeat thumping in her chest. It caused her to giggle. Then she frowned, as her dark brown eyes narrowed. She drew in a breath, and pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. She was hundreds of miles from home, and as jittery as she was, she just had to know.
“Ok guys! I’ll see you tomorrow!” she yelled to her team.
Pizza. That’s what she wanted. It was already 1pm. She didn’t really want to go across the street. That’s where he took her. He, the one who threw her away. And for some reason she still clung to, hopeful. But this pizzeria was close and the wolf growling in her tummy made her decision.
She pulled in and took a minute. She had to find her credit card and keys which had fallen into the abyss of her bag. Something made her look up. “Fuck me!” It was him. He was walking out. “Shit.” Should she go say hi? Should she duck? “Yeah, brilliant idea, dipshit. Duck like you’re undercover. Ugh. Just be an adult.” She got out of the car and turned toward his truck as her heart fell. She didn’t see the blonde with him. His hands touched her face as he pulled the woman in like he had done to her so many times. In that same spot. That same fucking spot. She wanted to scream, “He’s married!” But that struck a nerve with her. She still wasn’t proud of her actions.
She got back in her car and shook. She felt nauseous. Was she going to vomit? Why did this affect her so much? He’s just a man. There’s millions of people in this world. Her heart continued to break until that woman got into her car and left in the opposite direction of him.
She got home, eyes swollen from crying. Still hungry, she looked for something to mindlessly eat. Nothing tasted good. Her soul ached, yet she felt numb. The kind of numb he had rescued her from years prior. “Fuck this.” Now she was angry.
After an hour of rage shopping, she took a different route home. She just wanted to drive with the music up and windows down, despite the cold December air.
Belting out lyrics from Ariana, she came to a stop sign, and something broke within her. She pulled over and put the car in cevizli escort park, and sobbed.
“God? What the fuck? Why would you give me him if he was going to break my heart anyway?”
She looked up to the beautiful crystal blue sky and wished for a moment that it was raining, to match her somber mood.
“Help me to let him go. I don’t want to feel anymore!” She paused, got control of her anger toward a God she wasn’t even sure she believed in, and started again. There were no tears. And she felt calm.
“I want to be strong. I don’t want to get lost in anyone. But if you give me someone again, he needs to be kind. A good dad. Love kids in general, maybe even be a teacher. He needs to be supportive of my creativity and my quirks. Make me face my shit and not let me get away with the things I know I do, but never judge. Ahhh. Dark hair and eyes, please. Have a gorgeous smile. Be amazing in bed. And his voice needs to stir something in me. And God…I don’t even care if he’s from a different country.”
“What if I’m not what he expects?” she asked herself in the full length mirror. She took a step back. Hair could be better. She shrugged. Makeup was more than she usually wore. Her outfit was a short red mini skirt and black top, perfected with heels. She had promised him no panties. Something she regretted as she had to clean herself up several times already. How could this man stir so much in her when they hadn’t even met?
It was almost time. She headed toward the elevator and her phone rang. She dropped it, still trembling hours later and it went to voicemail. “Breathe dumbass. He’s going to think you’re a nut if you can’t keep your shit together.”
The elevator ride and walk to the lobby was excruciatingly long, but also not long enough. A fleeting thought of him being a serial killer flashed through her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. Her ankles flirted with rolling. Her heart was beating so fast that she wondered if she was going to even make it to the door. She walked out and saw him walking toward her. Was it him? It had to be him. She should have worn her glasses. “Holy shit” she mumbled under her breath. He was even more gorgeous in person. His pictures got her hot and bothered, but she wondered if he noticed her flushing in this moment. In person there was no comparison. Her face was on fire. She felt her nipples harden and a twist deep in her tummy that went erenköy escort directly to her slit. She felt the bubbles of desire sliding out of her, and blushed again.
There was no hesitation. He kissed her just as he said he would. His tongue flicking over hers, his soft lips hungry for hers. Gentle and firm, and he pulled away just when she wanted more. She felt her legs part instinctively. She tried to compose herself, frustrated that her body would give her away so easily. But all she wanted in that moment was to feel him up against her.
She managed to mutter, “Can I help you bring anything in?” Flashback to Dirty Dancing and the watermelon scene, as he handed her some wine. She felt like the most vanilla woman on the planet, despite their racy conversations. As she walked in, she could feel the wetness on her thighs as they glided back and forth. She tried to hide it, but her hands were full and it was futile.
They got into the elevator, and without missing a step, his hands were under her skirt as his tongue once again invaded her mouth. She could only moan, and wanted only to offer him every inch of her body. “You’re so wet” he growled. And her legs once again opened, allowing him to slip his fingers inside. The feeling was exquisite and the thought of the doors opening to bystanders in such a wanton moment made her moan again. He smirked. That fucking smirk. The look that could get him anything he’d want. All she could think was “oh shit, I’m in trouble now.”
He opened the door and she tried her best to remain upright, albeit sexy, as his hand grazed the small of her back. “He’s touching me, ” she thought. “I’m really having a rendezvous with this man I barely know, but I feel like I’ve known for a lifetime.” Her mind was swirling. He turned her around to face him and she stopped to really get a good look at the eyes she looked into so many times in pictures. He smelled marvelous. Tasted even better. She could see the crinkles around his eyes, the golden flecks in them. She wanted to reach for his face and just stare for hours. Fuck! He was so gorgeous. She had never been so attracted to anyone in her life the way she was to him. It made her blush, smile, and in a way feel inadequate. He should be with someone more beautiful. “Why is he here with me?”she thought.
He started to take off her top. She both wanted it and not. At least clothes hid the imperfections. But all was forgotten esenyurt escort as he unclasped her bra and her breasts felt the cool air. He reached down and grasped them. Licking gently at first, then nibbling each. Finally pinching harder until she nearly begged for him to fuck her hard. She wanted his tongue everywhere on her body. She reached down and found his hardness through the slacks he had on. She was stunned. She had never felt someone so hard, and wondered if she was actually feeling him or something in his pockets. His moan made her realize she found the gift he was about to give her.
She fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt. Stupid little buttons! What if she just ripped his shirt off? No, she could barely breathe. Where would she muster that strength? He smirked again and she melted. The buttons came so easily to him. She giggled inwardly. “Like me.” She thought. She had nearly came several times in the last few minutes. His chest was perfect. She pressed her naked breasts against him and her body bucked. At this point she didn’t even care. She knew what she wanted, shy or not.
His hands reached around and found her ass. He squeezed her with each hand, parting her lips in the process. The feeling of the air on her spread pussy was an infuriating hunger. She needed him to be inside of her. She reached for his zipper, and unfastened his pants. She could see the giant bulge in his boxers. “Oh my goodness.” She breathed. He kissed her deeply as she took him in her hands. The fabric hid nothing, but she also craved the bareness of his flesh.
He directed her to the bed. She sat down and he gently pushed her back. Then in one swoop, pulled her toward him. He teased her for a moment, rubbing the head of his cock on her wet lips. “Please…” she couldn’t even finish the request. He let the head of his cock enter her, and closed his eyes as she immediately clenched down on him. Pulling back out was almost painful for her. Nothing had ever felt so good, and the absence of even the tip of him was frustrating and created a hunger in her that she didn’t even know existed.
Facing her, he watched himself enter her, closed his eyes, then watched her eyes as he fucked her with his beautiful cock. She had never had someone so thick inside of her. The feeling of fullness made her cum so readily. She wanted to scream,but was so spent that it was a muffled cry. He plunged into her warm wetness, deeper and deeper. She spread her legs more, wanting to feel every inch of him inside of her as she offered him her body.
As if the arousal wasn’t enough, he actually became harder as their bodies moved together. Finally, she felt his spasms match her own until he flooded her with his creamy explosion. She loved the feeling of being filled and sore. And wanted to experience it again and again. With him.