(First, and only disclaimer: Every character portrayed is above the age of eighteen (18), for the sake of “secrecy”, “protection”? I dunno, names have been changed or omitted. So onto the other part of this, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, I’m not a horrid person, and I think in the end the scales balanced if you believe in karma and that kind of stuff, but these are just some stories of moments in my life that I remember sometimes fondly and sometimes with regret.)
Confession # 1 – Jenna
“I wouldn’t cheat on you.” I’d barely said those words hours ago, and in the moment, I sincerely believed them with everything I had.
Now here I was, standing on the beach arms wrapped around Jenna’s waist, her lips brushing lightly across mine as we pressed closer to one another, while her hips swayed from side to side, keeping an uncanny rhythm with the waves as they crashed against the shore.
Now what really took the cake in this whole situation, she was my girlfriend’s cousin. The same girlfriend that a few hours ago I’d told I wouldn’t cheat on her.
How’d I end up in the situation? Mainly because I was a selfish, but how’d I end up in the situation with Jenna? No idea.
See, I’m not vain and I can’t lie and say I was the picture of a healthy level of self-confidence, so I don’t look in the mirror and think, “Damn I look fucking awesome, I’m god’s gift, every woman wants me.” No, but, I’ve had my fair share of partners, andapparently I’m attractive, so I rolled with it. But, Jenna?
This was girl was undoubtedly one of the hottest girls I’d ever met, even when I’d first seen her in school. She was this short caramel toned girl with almost pixie like features, and eyes that always seemed to have this permanent mischievous twinkle in them, and I swear her smile could melt gold.
Body wise, she was slender, lithe even. Something that she attributed to the fact that she danced for most of her life, “I have a high metabolism.” She told me one time, and while she wasn’t on the buxom side of her family, and I got to know her family, her curves while pert were still there.
So the fact that I was kissing her, and neither of us was shit faced drunk. It was pretty surprising to me.
This night in particular was the first night of summer “vacation” for us. So upholding a ritual from school days, we had to hit the beach.
Aaron called me up at 4:30 PM on the dot, I was still at work at the time so I had to call him back, but I knew what it was about. We’d been talking about it for a couple of days prior, it was Friday, summer had begun. We were going to go get wasted, why? Because, it was the tradition.
By five, I was packing my cash tray into the vault and heading through the door. By five thirty, I was home and had returned Aaron’s call.
We agreed to meet up at the beach around nine, we’d buy some drinks, the night would begin. That gave me more than enough time. So I did some stuff around the house, called my girlfriend, we chatted for most of the evening, then the time rolled around for me to leave home.
“I don’t really want you going out with Aaron and the others you know.” She said to me as I was saying goodbye. I’d told her the stories about how Aaron and I would roll when we hung out, so she was concerned about the drinking.
“Fine, I won’t drink too heavily, I promise.” I crossed my fingers and smirked, she breathed a sigh of relief then dawdled for a moment in silence, “Hello? Jessie?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” Another sigh, “I just feel like, you’re going to do something tonight, and…”
“Jess, listen to me, I wouldn’t cheat on you.” There they were, I really did believe it.
“I know, just a thought.” She chuckled, I smiled, “Alright, talk to you later?”
“Well, you might be sleeping by the time I get home.”
“So? Message me. I might not.” She was so cute when she did that annoyed tone of voice.
“Okay, I will message you, ma’am.” I pressed the home button on my phone and the screen glared to life, 9:18 PM showing in the status bar, I was late. I was always late, “Enjoy your night, babe.” I said in an attempt to end the call.
“Alright, bye.” Another sigh, but the call was over and we both hung up and went on our separate ways for the night.
By nine fifty-seven I was pulling into the parking lot at the beach, and I saw Aaron propped against his car, another five or six people standing around with him. Small group, but it’d grow.
“My dude!” He shouted stepping out of the crowd to greet me, hand held high before bringing it down and clapping it into mine before we pulled in and bumped shoulders. We were bros, alright? I mean, like we had a real brotherly bond.
Then after some teasing about my repeated lateness to multiple events, we made our way over to the convenience store to buy the drinks.
A couple beers, some vodka, and we definitely couldn’t forget the rum, to do that would just be to commit a sin. Somewhere in between there Aaron got a call and I heard him tell the person, “Yeah, we’re silivri escort in the convenience store, you know, just across the street.”
At the time it really didn’t bother me who it was, it’d just be another face to add to the ever-growing list of faces that I couldn’t remember after sloshed nights. At least that’s what I thought. Then while we were getting our items rang up, Aaron having to go through the, “I need to see your I.D.” procedure, and I stood behind him waiting my turn, she walked in.
Looking as stunning as I’d ever seen her, wearing a little black number and matching slippers. Bright red lipstick on lips that curved into a smile as she saw us, and she’d cut her hair. Funny enough, it was styled in a pixie cut.
I’m telling you, if the manic pixie dream girl trope ever existed in my life, Jenna was the one that brought it. The girl was a free spirit, always smiling, effortlessly fantastic and quirky. John Green, eat your heart out.
Once Aaron got through and I paid, skipping the I.D. check, one of the perks of having a full beard, and not having previously told the lady that she looked like a bitch. We exchanged our pleasantries and headed back to the beach, kicking off shoes and slippers alike as we hit the sand.
It was summer, and feeling the cool sand between my toes, the breeze blowing across the ocean to hit me smack in the face bringing with it that refreshing salt water smell, the sound of the first beer cap that was popped off. It made me smile a little to myself, slightly ecstatic about doing it all over again, I never thought it or I would get old.
“I, have not seen you in ages.” Jenna said walking up, half empty cup in hand.
“I know right?” I was practically blushing as she talked to me, she’d always smiled at school, and honestly she was pleasant in passing, but we’d never really had a conversation, at least nothing that I could think of that would lead to her opening with “I haven’t seen you in ages.”, I just knew her by name, everyone knew her by name, she wasthat, girl, “How’ve you been?”
“Ugh… Miserable. Work, dancing, I actually went dancing tonight before this, but earlier Aaron told me about the lime, so here I am.” She took a sip from the cup, a brown liquid, probably vodka and coke, or rum and coke, or just coke. I personally didn’t enjoy anything mixed with coke.
“I hear that. Well, the work part anyway. I started working at the bank after I left school, I am utterly miserable.” I took a sip of my beer, “But, the pay is decent.” She laughed.
“My pay, is not.” I laughed. Then awkward silence ensued. Again, we’d never spoken before, we were not friends, hell, at this point she didn’t even know I was dating her cousin, “Going to check back with these guys.” A quick nod sufficed and she turned away leaving me standing looking out over the vast blackness that was the sea, the only discernible color being the white foam as the waves crashed against the shore.
It reminded me of a story I read once, about a little boy walking across the sea on the pathway created by moonlight, and the white horses that galloped forth from the ocean, their manes giving the surf that white color. It was a random thought, but one all the same.
Soon I finished my beer, and finished taking in the moment so I joined the others back in the crowd. We’d been drinking for about twenty minutes so far, and by the time Aaron stood up and suggested that we walk the boardwalk, another thirty minutes had gone by and we were halfway through the vodka, all the beers were gone, and our meager group, was now fifteen or so people strong.
So walking the boardwalk didn’t seem like a bad idea, plus it was a nice walk, and with a third of the group being drunk, the other tipsy, and the remaining sober, I figured we had an even number of people to make sure nothing went wrong. So pouring a cup for the road, onward we walked.
Trudging and stumbling across the sand we went. Laughing under the dim moonlight when Aaron fell and pulled down two other people with him. Cheering when the bottle carrier went through the group refilling our drinks, and we continued in that stumbling and drinking manner until we traded the sand for the solid wood of the boardwalk. The stumbling ceased, but the laughter continued as we picked up the pace.
And about five minutes in, I had to take a piss.
“Yo, y’all keep going man. Gonna link up with you in a minute.” I called out.
“You want us to wait, bro?” Aaron questioned from the head of the group.
“Nah, it’s literally the boardwalk, it’s one long stretch I’ll catch up, Aaron.” With a nod he turned on his heel and they continued the procession.
Me on the other hand, I looked for somewhere to take a leak. See, I never could go in public, unless I had liquor in me. Outside of that, no. Then even when I did go, I preferred to be alone, so hunting for a dark corner I went.
“You gotta pee?” Her voice jumped the shit out of me since I merter escort thought I was alone, but when I turned and saw her standing there, hands behind her back as she watched, I was at a loss for words, mainly because I had my dick in hand trying to take a piss against a tree.
“Uh, yeah?” I replied, unsure what else it could look like I was doing.
“Can I watch?” That was the first, and only time, in my entire life, that any woman, had ever asked me that question, and it left me dumbstruck.
After a moment I finally managed a meager, “No?” Which was me basically saying, ‘No, I don’t want you to look at my dick.’ Well that’s how it sounded, but in reality it was just, ‘No, I’m trying to take a piss.’
“Can’t go if other people are watching?” Her lips curled into a grin.
“Not really.” I replied, and somehow she took that as her cue to come closer. Until she was literally right behind me.
“Try.” She poked me in my sides, it tickled a bit, I’m kind of ticklish and it showed, “Go on, try.” She said again and with a sigh I closed my eyes, the urge of wanting to go slowly receding.
“I really can’t.” I managed a weak laugh at this one, I didn’t know how to feel in the situation. Embarrassed would’ve been perfectly normal, but wasn’t it normal to not want to go in front of someone else? I didn’t know.
“Aww, but I’ve never seen a guy pee before.” She whined before standing on her tiptoes and looking over my shoulder, “Mmm.” Not sure what that meant, but I could feel my face growing hotter by the second.
With an exasperated sigh she blurted, “Okay, geez.” Then took a couple steps back, and with a quick glance to make sure that she wasn’t looking at me, the urge returned with a vengeance and I began. Then before I could say anything, she was right back at my side, eyes glued to my dick for some reason with the silliest grin on her face as she watched right up until I finished.
“I know!” She said pushing me playfully as I shook my dick before tucking it back into my jeans.
“No… Like… I mean, weird.”
“Don’t be a pussy.” With a sigh she looped her arm in with mine, “Let’s go.” She didn’t even wait for my response before she turned in the opposite direction that Aaron and the others had gone, and instead headed back to the beach.
“But, the others.” I wasn’t really trying to stop her, lord knows I should’ve. I couldn’t even blame the liquor, I wasn’t drunk enough. I think I was more curious, that was it, intrigued to see where it would go.
So Jenna led, and I followed. Right back to the sand, and the stumbling and laughing, but without the drinks. Though we could always just walk back to the store if we got extremely desperate.
“How do you not pee in front of people?” We were still on the piss, I shrugged, “So you don’t use restrooms?”
“I avoid them.”
“So I got lucky? Got to be the first person to watch you pee?” She practically cackled and made her way to the shoreline, kicking up the water as it splashed at her heels, the hem of her dress raising into the air as she did a quick twirl. It truly looked like something from a movie, I told you. If the manic dream girl ever existed.
“Heading back up to the store?” I asked trying to steer the conversation away from piss, and now she shrugged, and made her way back to me.
“Nope, you need something?” She placed her arms around my neck.
“No… I guess not?” I was trying to remain faithful, trying to keep that promise. I was, really. Curiosity aside, I thought I could draw the line.
“Good” She turned around and pulled my arms around her, moving a little to some music that I could only assume was in her head, me, I stood as stiff as an oak tree, and that’s not being stiff where it mattered.
“I don’t… I, I don’t dance.” To this, she turned jaw dropped as she seemed absolutely appalled.
“How do you not dance?”
“I dunno, just… Never did?”
“That, that has to change.” She was practically shaking her head in disbelief at this point, then before I knew what was happening, she’d placed my hands on her hips and pulled me closer and so began my first, dance.
“I’m not sure I’ve got the aptitude for this.”
“Everyone can dance, don’t you have rhythm?”Yeah, I was in the band, first chair, on like half a dozen instruments, damn right I’ve got rhythm. That’s what I wanted to say, which might’ve made me sound like a complete fucking dweeb so instead I just offered a shrug in a response.
Shaking her head Jenna continued, giving me little pokes and prods along the way, and soon we’dwaltzed our way down the shoreline, her hips rocking with the motion of the waves, bodies pressed together before she looked up, and I swore the moonlight twinkled in her eyes, but maybe I was romanticizing it as she tiptoed and lightly kissed me. That was how I got here.
My heart missed a beat, I couldn’t believe it, not one bit. This kind of thing didn’t happen mecidiyeköy escort to me, in school I was a massive nerd and cliques dictated that I couldn’t sit with the popular people, they didn’t mingle, people didn’t throw themselves at me, but here I was, Jenna Clarke kissing me. That thought last a moment before a nagging voice in the back of my head, tugging on the strings of my conscience, stopped my hands from going any further past her hips, it stopped me from kissing her back.
“I, umm, I can’t believe I’m saying this. But I have a girlfriend.” I literally could not believe I said that, Jenna was honestly a dream girl to me. There was a time when I would’ve sold my left nut to have a shot like this with her, and I was turning her down.
“Oh, okay?” She didn’t pull away, just dropped from her tiptoes to look at me.
“Yeah, really nice girl, um, met her through work. Jessie, sweet girl.”
“Jessie, she works at the bank?” Now she pulled away.
“Wait, do you mean, Jessica Connel?” At this point, I felt like my heart would stop. How did she know Jessie? Little did I know that at this point, if my lifewas a movie, there would’ve been a freeze frame, I’d be narrating and I would’ve been left with the feeling of having colossally fucked up. But it didn’t happen.
“That, is my cousin.” She paused, “Oh my god!” She shoved me, “You were going to cheat on my cousin?!”
“Um, no. I wasn’t. I stopped.”
“No, you bastard.” She started to laugh, “How long were you together?”
“A couple weeks.” I said, trying to understand why she found this so amusing.
“Oh my gosh, that is so funny. Man, my cousin. Wow, isn’t the world small.” I was pretty nervous at this point, wasn’t sure where this conversation was going to go, didn’t want to say, so let’s keep this between us. Didn’t want to admit guilt, to something I’d just pleaded innocence to, “Oh man, I would’ve fucked you too.” And, this was where my heart stopped. Where everything derailed, “I mean, I was all, ready, to fuck you. You have, no idea at all.”
“Wow, just like that?”
“Well, no. I mean, I thought you were cute and I wondered why you never spoke to me at school, and then, even after we left when you added me on facebook, nothing. Then I saw you here tonight, and, I thought screw it. I’m single. I’m free. But you are not.” I was speechless, “Aww don’t worry. I can still show you how to dance, you know Jessie loves to dance right? You don’t want to go out and be stuck watching her on the dancefloor.” Still speechless, even as she grabbed my hand pulled me towards her to continue our little moves.
“Wow…” I finally managed after a moment and she chuckled.
“I know right, small ass world.” I nodded, “You know what, you wanna get in the water?”
“I didn’t bring a trunks.”
“Wow, me neither. What a coincidence.” She said and upped the hem of her dress, pulling it over her head and making an attempt to toss it out of reach of the wet sand, but failed miserably as it unfurled halfway and fluttered to the ground, “Well, move it, please?” She asked, but really I was stunned, she wasn’t wearing a bra it didn’t even occur to me before, especially seeing as it was a strapless dress, and as she stood there, perky breasts bared to the elements, and in a black lace underwear, I couldn’t help but stare, and she knew it, “Hey, dress, and then, undress and get in.”
She didn’t need to say it twice. Within seconds I had stripped down to my boxer, moved our clothes into a pile out of the way of the tide and then dove into the water behind her.
“It is so fucking cold!” I shouted as I resurfaced a little way out from the shore and she laughed and swam closer.
“It’s not that bad.”
“Kinda is.” I said and we floated there in silence for a moment, treading water before I decided to roll onto my back, it was a half-moon, would’ve been lovelier if it was full, but I didn’t have long to ponder on it before Jenna pushed me under, and then my sputtering was the only thing that mattered as I resurfaced, slightly annoyed but she found this amusing.
Laughing as she floated away, maybe expecting me to give chase, but if there was a line to be drawn I drew it there.
“Aww, you mad?” She asked coming closer, almost hesitant like she half expected me to push her under, I didn’t respond, “Okay, don’t dunk me. Truce?” Right, because I was “not”, going to get revenge.
Revenge was another wasted thought, because just as quickly as it came, it went. She floated closer, and wrapped her arms around my neck, looking me square in the eye before she asked the question, “How long,is a few of weeks?”
“About, um, four, five.” She grinned.
“You don’t remember?” The words were a whisper, but out there in the water, away from the shore, waves lapping all around us, I would’ve heard anything she said.
“I mean, I’m pretty sure it was five.”
“Mm.” She replied, then kissed me for the second time and it felt just like the first. My stomach went haywire, the butterflies went into full tilt, I mean full oncirque du soleil. And I know I shouldn’t have gone along with it, but even that nagging voice seemed to disappear, so I kissed her back. Savoring every moment of it as I did, the saltiness of the sea on her lips, her nipples as they pressed against my chest.