Subject: “Young Lovers,” Chapter 50 Chapter 50 James’ remarkable display of sexual self-control may have been one of the the highlights of the evening — or for that matter, of the whole week — but it by no means put an end to the sex that night. And it didn’t end the surprises either. After we recovered from our amazement at James’ demonstration the fun continued. I screwed Parker, whose lusty, enthusiastic response reminded me of how great sex with him could be. James also blew him, and judging from Parker’s thrashing, moaning response James definitely had some oral skills. Just about the time the three of us were starting to recover Joon, Byron and Johnny returned from the gym, and the three of them joined us in a confused but delightful six-way that lasted another hour or more. The only thing that marred the whole experience for me was a moment when, halfway through our activities, I had nudged my erection against James’s heaving ass as Johnny blew him, letting him know I wanted to screw him. At that point he turned to me with a shocked look, wide-eyed, and then shook his head no with a frown. I had a moment of puzzled disappointment but before I had a chance to even think about it Byron had urgently shoved his erection against my cheek. I don’t know about anyone else but when ten hot thick hard inches of boy are rammed pleadingly into my face I have a tendency to forget about everything else. Byron hadn’t showered when the three boys returned from the gym, and he was pretty ripe, but I didn’t care. I grabbed his muscular butt with both hands and rammed him as far down my throat as I could get him. My part in our little orgy finished with a long, slow screwing of Joon, who fought me a little at first but didn’t really seem to have much fight in him. He had given Johnny an intense plowing after being blown by James, who had brought Joon close to climax again and again. Finally it was quiet in the apartment. Looking around I saw five beautiful, naked bodies sprawled or lying motionless around the living room, exhausted from our group sex. Joon and Byron seemed to be asleep. I focused in on James, prone on the couch, eyes closed, one leg dangling to the floor. I thought about taking advantage of his exhaustion to see if I could get through to him. Maybe I’d cuddle him a bit and see if he would talk honestly with me. Talk about his apparent resistance to me, his reluctance to open up about himself — and, of course, his unwillingness to do anything sexual with me. But then I thought to myself, fuck it! I’ve had great sex with four other beautiful boys tonight — why should I keep after him like I was some teenager with a crush? He obviously didn’t like me — not for sex or anything else, really. Considering that I was an adult, entitled to a certain amount of deference, he was being as obvious as he could be about his aversion to me and still maintain some politeness. I gave and got love and affection in this apartment, and for that matter on the island, with more boys than I could even keep track of, I reflected. So, I said to myself, accept that you can’t have every desirable boy you see and move on. And that way of thinking might have worked. Except for what happened soon after. Needing a shower in the worst way I got up and headed for the bathroom. I was a minute into enjoying the tepid flow coursing over me when I heard the curtain behind me slide open. I turned. It was James. I was speechless, and we just stood there a moment looking at each other, the water pouring down my back. The expression on his face was unlike any I’d seen from him before. He looked positively bashful, hesitating there in his nakedness. “Hi,” I finally said. For a second he looked as if he were going to turn and leave. But then he stopped. “Can I . . . join you?” he finally asked, in a soft voice. He swallowed hard. It seemed like he was at the limit of his courage. “Please!” was all I could manage to say, making a gesture of welcome and stepping aside. He stepped into the shower. Maybe it was my own exhaustion, but for some reason all the questions I wanted to ask, all the things I might have said, just weren’t there. Wordlessly I eased him under the water and then, filling my palm with liquid soap, I began to wash him,. As my slippery hands strayed over his shoulders and chest he looked at me, a bit fearfully, but then his eyes began to close, and I could tell he was surrendering. To pleasure. To my touch. And, perhaps, to something else? My mind was a blank as, lost in sensual pleasure myself, I allowed my hands to roam wherever they desired as I caressed his slick, soapy body. He passively accepted everything I did: my slow strokes squeezing the long, muscles of his arms, my kneading of his small, tight chest muscles, my firm pressure as I soaped and massaged his thighs and calves. Even the tenderness with which I caressed his genitals. When I first cupped his balls he twitched suddenly, and his narrow belly sucked in, but then he immediately relaxed, and showed no resistance to my gentle touch. After a few delightful minutes I filled my palm with shampoo and began to caress his scalp until his whole head was white with goopy suds. I gently bent his head toward the shower’s flow and rinsed the shampoo out of him, He passively accepted all my ministrations. I drew him closer to me then and, instead of turning him around so I could wash his backside, I reached around him with both hands, stroked his back downward from shoulders to tailbone, and then caressed his small, full asscheeks, massaging and kneading them with the slippery soap. As I did so I nibbled at his ear and the side of his neck. Finally I drew my index finger slowly all the way up his crack, pressing gently against his anus as it passed over it. James gave a small sigh and then, to my wordless delight, he closed the last few inches between us and embraced me! What was going on? I gave him a long strong hug, and felt his arms gripping me with an almost desperate force. Then I pulled back a bit and gazed into his eyes. Emotions chased each other over his face. Fear. Confusion. And I think a kind of wonder, of surprise. We stared at each other for — how long? Ten seconds? A half-minute? I placed my hand gently on the side of his neck and with my thumb stroked his cheek. “You can trust me, James,” I whispered as tenderly as I could, still holding his gaze. His lips parted at that and I felt him yield a little more. He said nothing, just kept his gaze locked on mine. Before this evening I had seen in his face nothing but cool intelligence, or sometimes, when talking to other boys, a kind of a good-natured playfulness. Now there was much more. I saw a kind of urgent longing. There was vulnerability. And more than a little konya escort awkward self-consciousness too. I smiled and caressed his shoulder. “Let’s get out before we use up all the hot water,” I suggested. He seemed unwilling to move. “Pretty soon,” he finally murmured. “OK.” “Did you have time to wash?” he asked softly. “Well, not completely.” He extended a hand toward the soap dispenser. “Can I?” He smiled shyly. “Let’s see . . . ” I pretended to think. “A hot and lovable boy wants to stand naked in a shower with me and wash my body all over . . . does that interest me at all . . ? He grinned at me. For the first time in weeks, James gave me his real smile, the one that just enveloped you in a warm glow, like the sun does when it breaks through the clouds and brightens up everything. I reached my arms out to either side, as if to say, bring it on! For several minutes James assiduously went over every inch of my body, frowning with concentration, rubbing perhaps a bit harder than absolutely necessary. When he knelt down to wash my feet and legs the top of his head bumped the bottom of my cock, which was trying its exhausted best to become hard. He looked up at me and gave sort of an awkward smile. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile back. He finished my legs and then paused, looking at my cock, unsure. As he did so he sat back a bit on his heels and I noticed something very interesting. He had an erection. “Come on, James,” I murmured. “You can wash it. It won’t bite.” He swallowed and hesitated. I pumped the dispenser for some more soap, slathered it on my cock and balls, and then stood with my hands on my hips and waited. He looked up at me with an unreadable expression. Then he looked at my cock again, then at me. Then he frowned, his mouth working as if he were wrestling with a decision, or maybe fighting something inside himself. Finally he exhaled a deep breath, reached out and with both hands began massaging my cock. At first he just caressingly washed it, but then he began pumping it with more and more vigor, frowning now with effort. He bit his lower lip then and pounded my cock, banging his fist into my pubes again and again. It didn’t take much of that for me to get fully hard. I reached down then and grasped both his hands gently in mine. “Stand up.” The boy let go of my organ and clambered to his feet. I caressed his cheeks with both hands. His face was alive with emotion. “What do you want, James? I’ll give you whatever you want. Right now.” He swallowed hard, stared at me with wide eyes, and then suddenly he just burst. Tears sprang to his eyes, he tossed his head back, biting his quivering lower lip, trying not to cry. “I can’t stand it any more,” he muttered, his mouth twisting. “I can’t do it!” With that he spun around, braced his hands against the wall, bent over and stuck his butt out at me. “Do it! Do it!” he yelled. “Please!” I stood there, stunned. What the hell was going on? All of a sudden a thought hit me. That strange coolness toward me, the avoidance of my eyes, his refusal to let me screw him — was he fighting some desire within himself, for some reason?. His own desire for me, maybe? Or for somebody? But why? Why in the world was he struggling, trying to be strong, only to see his willpower finally give way? I had to know what was going on. Having had two massive orgasms within the previous two hours I wasn’t all that horny — I wasn’t sure I could even cum again. Yes I desired him, but my desire, I realized, was emotional much more than physical. Although I was hard, I found I wanted to love this boy more than I wanted sex with him. “Come on!” he exclaimed, arching his back more. “I know you want it, I can tell! You’ve wanted me this whole time! So do it!” I fisted my cock between his perky little butt cheeks and let it lodge there, against his anus. Then I caressed his lean, sinewy back, ending by cupping his small, muscle-capped shoulders and gently pulling him upright. “Stand up, James.” He complied, and I massaged his shoulders and neck for a moment, my cock still poised at his back door. It was time finally to solve the great mystery of James. In the shower, of all places, with my cock wedged between his cheeks. I pressed my chest against his back and murmured in his ear. “Yeah, I want to make love to you. You’re sexy, you’re lovable, you’re exciting to me. But there’s something I want more. Way more. I want to understand you.” I paused, letting that sink in. James was still, listening, panting a bit now, his long-fingered hands braced against the shower wall. “I I want to know why you don’t ever have guests and why you don’t have that Young Lovers look, whatever that is. Most of all I want to know why you’ve kept your distance from me. You’re fighting yourself. I want to know why. I want to know what you want from me really.” I took a deep breath. “I want you, James. I want to feel my cock deep inside you, your body opening to me.” At this the boy’s chin dropped to his chest and a shudder ran through him. “I want to feel you enjoying it, loving it,” I continued. “But that’s just the frosting, man. The sex is just the frosting. The cake is your heart. The real James. I want to know him. Then maybe, if it seems right, we can — make love, not just fuck.” “No!” the boy cried. “No! I can’t! Just . . . fuck me, please!” I hesitated, surprised. “Come on, I need it!” he pleaded. “I need it so bad! It’s been . . .” He shoved his ass back against me, bending father over, and with one hand pulled aside one asscheek. I made a decision. Maybe I could somehow give us both what we wanted and needed. Gripping his hip bones with both hands I pressed forward until I could feel his anus start to open and the head of my cock was halfway in him. Then I paused. “Is this what you want?” I asked gruffly. “Mph!” he cried in frustration. “Put it all the way in, please!” I didn’t comply. Instead I said, “You’ve avoided me. You have this shield up. I want to know why.” The boy gave a soft grunt, and one of his hands went to his cock. “Tell me or I’ll pull out,” I warned. I waited. Finally his voice came, quavering. “I heard I should stay away from you. That you were . . . bad news.” Bad news! The exact phrase I’d used when asking Evan about James — a phrase he’d agreed with. “Who told you that?” He was quiet. Then he murmured, “I can’t tell you. I promised.” Joon. It had to be. So he was protecting Joon. I gathered myself and pressed in to James, and we groaned together as my glans fully entered him. I stopped again. “I won’t ask you to break your promise. So tell me this — you never seem to have any guests. How come?” He hesitated. konyaaltı escort “I’m not a fuckboy,” he answered. Ah! So he must live on the island with an employee, a father or uncle maybe, like Keoki did. That explained why his clothing and grooming were not remotely up to Butch’s standards. In appreciation of his answer I slowly drove my cock another couple of inches into him. “Ah, yeah!” he gasped. “More — please.” “One more question. Forget about your horniness for a minute and tell me. After all the time you’ve spent around me lately, do you really still think I’m bad news? After all the kindness and friendliness I’ve shown you? After you’ve seen how bonded I am to these boys? And how much they trust me?” Things went silent, except for the steady trickle of water down the drain. He said it so softly I barely heard him. “I don’t know.” “Yes you do.” I wrapped his chest with one arm and pulled his back up tight against my chest. I murmured in his ear. “Am I bad news, James?” He let out a deep breath and squirmed his ass, as if trying to impale me further. “Maybe not.” I waited. “Please do it, OK?” He was almost whining like a small child now. “Will you let me love you?” “I . . . can’t.” “You can’t?” He sighed and sagged against me a little bit. “My — boyfriend and I have this — agreement. We can be open — you know, do it with other people. But it’s gotta be just sex. Nothing emotional.” Wow. HIs boyfriend? “Is your boyfriend’s identity a secret too?” “Kind of.” “Well, he must not be much of a boyfriend if you’ve gone such a long time without sex before this evening. That’s what you said.” James was silent. Finally, with mounting frustration in his voice, he asked, “So can we — just fuck?” He again pressed back against me. “No.” The boy’s head dropped to his chest in defeat. “How about this,” I suggested after a silent, motionless moment. “How about we agree there’s nothing romantic between us? Joon is my boy, some other guy is your boy. Fine. But we can still be loving to each other. Johnny and Parker aren’t my boyfriends, but I have deep, affectionate sex with them sometimes. You and I can still be affectionate and caring and all that good stuff while we have sex, without it threatening my relationship with Joon, or yours with the mystery boy.” After a long pause, he answered in a quiet but firm voice. “OK. I’ll try.” I smiled to myself. “Now — can we do it?” he pleaded, a note of desperation in his voice. “Yeah. But not here. Let’s dry off and go into the bedroom.” With that the two of us dried off in record time, and not thirty seconds later we were lying side by side on the king sized bed. I had scarcely finished fluffing the pillow when he gripped my head firmly and planted a soft kiss on my lips. Pulling, nibbling, tugging at him I eased my body onto his, sliding my hip over his still-damp erection. Aligning my cock with his I began hunching against him. I caressed his shoulders, his biceps, his neck, his hair as I felt him relax under me. Occasionally he would gasp or groan, and he caressed my back constantly. James allowed me to pleasure him a little bit, but before long, he gasped out, “Do it. Fuck me. I can’t . . . ” “You can’t wait any longer huh?” I asked, kneeling over him now. He was breathing harder, staring into my eyes. I smiled. “How long have you been waiting for this?” He grimaced. “Oh man. Just do it, OK?” His natural politeness was beginning to crack and his urgency was veering into irritation. “OK, OK” I answered. “But it’s gonna feel like love whether you like it or not!” I began kissing my way down his body, ending all the way down at his big feet. Then I gripped his ankles and gently began bending his legs back. He quickly grabbed behind his knees and yanked his legs back and outward, exposing his crack and his asshole, which immediately winked at me. Unlike all the fuckboys he had a thin ring of hair surrounding it. I stroked his crease slowly with my fingertip, from the loose, grayish-black skin of his scrotum, down the thin little seam, through a few wiry hairs, and stopped with my finger on the lips of his asshole. To my surprise, he opened his asshole wide, as if to say, “Come on in!” I gave him a grin and gently inserted my finger an inch or so. “So you’ve got self-control on the back end as well as the front end!” I chuckled, sliding my finger a little bit deeper. “Yeah,” he puffed. “You can stick it all the way in. Go ahead.” I leaned forward and down. “Only if I can do this too,” I whispered, continuing slowly downward until my lips met his. As he opened his mouth readily to me and swirled his tongue against mine I carefully inserted my finger all the way into him. It slid in with ease. James was a succulent kisser, and we licked each others’ tongues and lips for several minutes, as I slowly worked in and out of his ass, first with one finger, then two. I pulled back and gazed into his eyes. “I want you to feel my affection for you when I kiss you,” I said. “And . . . I want you to feel my lust for you when I finger you.” He gave me a little smile. It was kind of peaceful. It was as if now that I was in him something inside of him had relaxed. “Want my cock now?” He gave a little chuckle. “Finally!” “Get it wet first,” I said, pulling my fingers out of him, knee walking forward until I was practically sitting on his chest, and then leaning forward and bending my now-rigid cock down. James strained his head upward and with difficulty lashed my organ with his tongue. “OK, that should do it,” I soon exclaimed, suddenly impatient. Scooting back, I pushed his knees out and down again. “Ready?” James rolled his eyes, and I grinned at him affectionately. “Just put the head in first,” he said. “Um — OK,” I replied, and quickly did so. “See how you like this!” he grinned. “Go ahead, all the way in.” “OK!” I answered, not really knowing what he meant. I gathered myself and began shoving. In response James squeezed his ass down like an absolute vice. He was so tight I couldn’t move! “Push harder!” he exclaimed with a wider grin. “Is that all you’ve got?” Grinning back I took a breath, resettled my knees, and then . . . oh man. He loosened just enough that I could move in him a tiny bit, but his fist-like grip on my cock remained. I went centimeter by hot, itching, intense centimeter into the center of his body. It must have taken thirty seconds before I finally bottomed out. Thirty amazing seconds. I lay down gently on him then, and caressed his neck with my thumb. “Oh man,” I muttered. “You’ve got skills.” He chuckled. “I’m an artist!” “Yeah! A sex artist!” “Let’s go!” he urged. I pushed konyaaltı eve gelen escort myself upward, repositioned myself, and began to pull out of him, but not before giving him another quick, nibbling kiss. He suddenly loosened and I slid out easily. Then, when I drove in again, he squeezed down again. “Jesus!” I muttered, pleasure surging up my cock again. That began ten or more minutes of amazing screwing. By the time was ready to cum I had already realized I was making love to the most sexually talented boy I had ever known. As my orgasm hovered, I reached down and grabbed James’ rigid inches. I began thrashing him hard as I pounded his ass. “Are you close?” I gasped. “I can cum anytime,” he panted. Sweat beaded his face, but he was smiling beatifically. “We’ll see about that,” I grunted a little challenge, and letting go of his hot meat I redoubled my efforts, grabbing his thighs hard just above the knees, my eyes boring into his. A smile played on his lips, as he continued to alternately squeeze and release my cock with his ass muscles. “OH GOD!” I yelled, throwing my head back, feeling my control slipping. “AH!!” he suddenly yelled and, grabbing me behind the neck and straining upward, he smashed his mouth against mine. I gave another wild thrust, and suddenly my head snapped back. “AAAAAAH! SHIT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! YAAAH! AAAAH! FUCK!!!:” In the midst of my incredible cum I felt him writhing under me, grunting and moaning, his hands scrabbling over my back and shoulders. When my orgasm finally subsided I fell forward onto him in exhaustion, and despite the receding waves of relief coursing through me I felt something wet and sticky under my chest. After a gasping few seconds, our hearts pounding against each other in rhythm, I raised up. James must have cum a quarter of a cup of boy juice all over his chest. It squished between us, smearing him from one nipple to the other and running down one side of his torso over his ribs. Wiped out, I rolled off of him and pulled him to me in a sweaty, cummy embrace. His arm wrapped me as tightly as mine did him. We rested quite awhile. I finally propped myself up on one elbow and gazed at him. “Fucking amazing, James.” He smiled, his face relaxed. “You timed your cum?” I asked. “Yeah. I wanted to cum at the same time as you.” “So you could have held off longer or blown your load sooner — just by deciding to?” “Yeah. It’s not that hard.” That I didn’t believe. I reflected a second. “You could have cum anytime, but you chose to cum along with me. Sounds . . . pretty amazing.” I was about to say “romantic,” but even in my wiped-out state I knew I didn’t want to go there with him. “I’m jealous of your skills,” I added. “You’ve gotta teach me how to do that sometime.” He was silent, thinking. He changed the subject. “Maybe I know what the `bad news’ thing is now,” James said. He smiled a small, tired smile, but there was a troubled look on his face too. “Yeah? What?” “You’re like the devil, tempting me. And I gave in. You got me to make love, not just have sex. Even though . . . ” I studied his face. There was no anger in it, only perplexity. I reached out and he allowed me to caress his cheek. “The devil gives pleasure in exchange for your soul,” I answered. “I hope I gave you pleasure. All that cum you flooded us both with sure made it seem like I did! But did I really take your soul?” He frowned. “Maybe.” “I don’t think so. Do you love him?” “Who? My boyfriend?” “Yeah.” “Yes.” “Do you want to be with me instead of him?” To his credit James paused and reflected. “No,” he finally said, eying me steadily for the first time. “Then I’d say your soul is intact. I’d say all that’s happened is you’ve learned you can have loving sex with one person without destroying your bond with another person.” The boy thought a minute. “What about Joon?” “What about him? He knows I have sex with other people, and he knows he’s my boy, not anyone else. He doesn’t like it, he’s jealous as hell, I’ll admit. But he knows he’s gotta get over it.” “Don’t you — get upset when you see him doing it with other people? Right in front of you? Like he was just doing an hour ago?” I caressed his arm. “Believe me when I tell you this, James. It makes me happy. I love to watch him when he’s — kind of swept away with pleasure. Out of his mind with ecstasy. It actually turns me on sometimes. Plus, I know he’s learning, growing as a sexual person. You guys are teenagers, man! Learning and growing, changing all the time — it’s what being a teenager is all about!” James considered this. “Ask yourself this,” I continued. “Can you tell that he and I have a deep, strong bond?” “Well, I guess. He really admires you, I know that.” This was a pleasant surprise. I knew that deep inside this was how Joon felt. He’d said as much to me once. The surprise was that he’d admit it to another boy. “Yeah, and you know what else? I really admire him too.” James looked at me, his face interested. “He has so much courage, so much willingness to try to do what he knows is the right thing,” I said. “Even though his rage, his judgmentalness, his habitual arrogance fight him all the way. He wrestles with his ego all the time. And more and more lately it seems like he wins.” “Plus he’s unbelievably smart,” James added. “I think he’s the smartest person I ever knew.” “I think you’re pretty damn smart too. For an artist,” I grinned. James grinned back, then closed his eyes and gave a big stretch, his whole body arching backward like a bow. “Getting sleepy?” I asked. “I know I am.” “Mm-hmm.” “So would your boyfriend mind if you slept together with a loving friend who didn’t want to be your lover? Cause I really want to sleep with you. I don’t want to be your boyfriend, but I want to hold you as we sleep. How does that sound?” He gave a small smile. “Good.” He paused. “I guess he’d understand. If I explained it to him.” “He sounds like a pretty mature guy.” “He is,” James smiled. Then a frown came over his face. “What about — the others?” he asked jerking his head to indicate the boys in the other room. “They’ll either stay asleep out there or come in here and join us. Are you — worried about how Joon will react if he sees us sleeping together?” “I guess. Maybe.” “Well, I’ll tell you. He’ll be mad, he’ll struggle with himself, and in the end he’ll do the right thing. He’ll continue to be my boy and he’ll continue to be your friend. And who knows, maybe you guys’ll have some new stuff to talk about. Sex and love instead of metaphysics!” James gave a bigger grin at this, rolled over onto his back, closed his eyes and put his arm over his eyes. I leaned forward, kissed his nipple, and then drew my tongue slowly over the rather scant patch of damp hair under his arm. “Yaah!” he cried, jerking away from me in laughter. I turned out the light then. “Good night, James.” Without my bidding the boy scooted closer to me and pulled me to him.